“Why does my quote change when I add my spouse?”

"Should I just leave her off?" No, and I'll get to why. First, congratulations. Second, every quote you got was correct. They changed because each one described a different household.

What the insurer is pricing

A car insurance quote is a price for a set of drivers and a set of cars, and how the drivers are matched to the cars. When you add your wife, the insurer adds her whole profile to the calculation. Here's what typically comes along with her, and which direction each item can push.

What's added	Can push the price up if...	Can push it down if...
Her driving record	She has recent tickets or at-fault accidents	She has a clean record
Driving experience	She has held a license for fewer years	She's been driving longer than you
Age	She's in a younger age band	She's in a band insurers rate favorably
Her claims history	She has recent claims	She has none
Marital status	Rarely up	Many insurers rate married drivers more favorably, where state rules allow it
Credit-based insurance score (where allowed)	The insurer weighs hers or the household's lower	Higher
Her car	It's newer, more expensive to repair, or financed and needs full coverage	It's older and carries less coverage

So "married people pay less" can be true for the marital-status factor on its own and still be outweighed by everything else on the list. That's what your first quote showed.

Why the primary driver matters

On a two-driver, two-car policy, many insurers assign a primary driver to each car. The car's price depends partly on who drives it most. When you made her the main driver, the insurer priced the car with her profile instead of yours, and it came out lower. That suggests her profile rates better than yours, at least for that car.

Here's the rule: the primary driver should be whoever actually drives the car most. If that's her for one car and you for the other, quote it that way. If you drive both, say so. Choosing the arrangement that's cheapest rather than the one that's true is misrepresentation, and it can cause problems with a claim.

Why leaving her off is the expensive option

Insurers generally expect you to list every driver in your household who holds a license, or at least everyone with regular access to the cars. A spouse living with you almost always qualifies. If she drives your car and isn't on the policy, and there's an accident, the insurer may question the claim or the policy itself. A cheaper premium isn't worth a denied claim.

Some insurers allow a named driver exclusion, where a household member is formally excluded and not covered at all. It's sometimes used for someone with a very poor record. It's not a way to save money on a spouse who drives.

Combined or separate?

You also tried adding her car. That's the other real question: is one combined policy cheaper than two separate ones? Often it is, because of multi-car and household discounts, but not always. If one of you has a record that raises the household rate, two policies may come out ahead in some cases, though many insurers will still ask about other drivers in the household on each.

The only way to know is to price both:

1. One policy, both cars, both drivers, each assigned to the car they actually drive.
2. Two policies, each with its own car, each listing the other spouse as a household driver if the insurer asks.

A good moment to shop

A marriage is a household change, and a household change is a good time to compare insurers. Different companies weigh each factor in the table differently. With both drivers and both cars listed accurately, get at least three quotes and compare total cost with the same limits and deductibles.

Keep her on. Then find the insurer whose math likes your household best.